Jiu-Jitsu and Jocko: Creating Warrior Kids
I bought my kids a wrestling mat in the basement for Christmas 2018. It was a good thing for them to roll around and play on. But my secret objective was to start nudging my then 4-year-old son Eric into an interest in wrestling. I have previously written about wrestling and its importance in our family’s life.
But, as I tend to do, I bought the wrestling mat too early. I went downstairs with Eric some in those years and would try to show him a few wrestling moves. But he wasn’t interested.
As time passed, I gave up on Eric becoming a wrestler. During covid, the local wrestling club shut down in our Chicago suburb. When wrestling opened back up, they required masks. No way was I going to introduce my son to the sport in that environment. He was getting into baseball, which I have loved my entire life. I was thankful for that and could live with it if he didn’t wrestle.
I also wasn’t sure that Eric had the personality for wrestling. I grew up around friends who loved sports and were great athletes but never took to wrestling. They didn’t like the roughness of it, not comfortable with aggressively going after the other guy. My youngest brother was a little like that, even though he wrestled throughout high school. He has a kinder heart, more likely to strike up a friendly conversation with his opponent than psyche himself up to destroy the guy on the mat. I could see similar traits in Eric, which wasn’t bad.
In late 2021, I bought a book for my son called “Way of the Warrior Kid” by Jocko Willink. We had just caught up with the Derek Jeter kids’ books, and I found this one while searching for something new to read to him at night. We both liked it. It had a good story, and I loved the lessons Navy SEAL Jake taught his nephew Marc.
In the book, Marc learned the importance of waking up early and how the morning was the best time to get things done. Uncle Jake got Marc off the couch playing video games and over to a pull-up bar. Marc learned how to swim and eat better. Uncle Jake didn’t just focus on the physical body – he also helped Marc finally master his multiplication tables and learn how to learn. All of this helped Marc gain confidence.
I loved the part about Marc standing up to the bully at school. Almost all of us have to go through that in our lives, no matter how much of our tax money the government spends on anti-bullying education. Jake told him that when you get picked on, the response is to learn how to fight.
When it came to Marc learning about fighting, I figured that Jake would show him how to throw a punch. Instead, Jake took Marc to jiu-jitsu class. Jiu-jitsu? Is that some sort of karate? I wasn’t sure – I had no experience in martial arts other than watching “The Karate Kid” about 50 times.
I read on, and the book talked about kids shooting in on each other’s legs for takedowns and grappling with each other. This sport sounded a lot like wrestling to me. I was glad the book was introducing this to Eric. But it wasn’t enough to push Eric to ask me about signing him up for a jiu-jitsu class.
Fast forward a year to this past December 2022. Out of the blue, Eric asked me if it was ok if he started going to jiu-jitsu class. He said our babysitter’s husband would begin taking his nephew to jiu-jitsu, and Eric wanted to tag along. I said sure, still not knowing much about the sport. They started going to class twice weekly, with me driving over there to watch after getting off work.
The jiu-jitsu training center reminded me of the wrestling rooms I had known growing up. Most of the practice focused on the kids learning new moves. Then in the last ten minutes, the coach paired kids up for sparring. Eric wasn’t allowed to spar until he got his gi, a uniform resembling a karate outfit.
When Eric started sparring, I could see some initial hesitation, like he didn’t want to be too rough on the other wrestler. But within a few practices, Eric was over that and more actively joined the fight. As I watched, I could see that he was pretty good on his feet, with a knack for double-leg and single-leg takedowns. That part was very similar to the wrestling I knew. Then we started learning about the different positions on the mat, including the mount where the top wrestler straddles the other wrestler and kneels over them.
It was a big adjustment for me to see wrestlers comfortable with being on their backs. In high school/collegiate wrestling, being on your back means getting pinned and losing the match. But, in jiu-jitsu, there are no pins.
The goal of jiu-jitsu is to control your opponent and finish the match using a submission hold like a choke. You want to get the other wrestler into a position where they have to submit (“tap out”) – this immediately ends the match like a pin in high school/collegiate wrestling.
I watched the practice with our babysitter’s husband, a long-time Chicago policeman. Several years before, he had trained at this same jiu-jitsu place until it became too much for his knees. He said many policemen train in jiu-jitsu because it helps them on the job. He swears that his jiu-jitsu experience saved his life once when he was one-on-one against a criminal grabbing his gun.
As I learned more about jiu-jitsu, I realized it was more geared toward self-defense than high school/collegiate wrestling. Suppose you are in a dark alley with someone – being experienced in an array of submission holds is more beneficial than outscoring a guy on takedowns.
After three months of practice, we signed Eric up for a local jiu-jitsu tournament where his local team competed. Eric and I both woke up that Saturday morning, excited for the day. We listened to Rocky and Vision Quest music in the van on our drive to the tournament.
I had watched Eric and my daughter Elizabeth pitch in baseball/softball for the last few years. But, watching Eric go out onto the mat for his first match, my nervousness reached a higher level that I didn’t know existed.
Eric scored an early takedown and was in the mount position for most of his first match. Then with about 1 minute, and 30 seconds left, his opponent gained control and came out on top before they went off the edge of the mat. The other kid’s coach told his wrestler, “You’re up 6-2, keep working.” 6-2? How did that kid score 6 points on that move?
Eric was able to get back on top and get his legs (“hooks”) in to tie the score before getting behind the other kid to get a chokehold. With about 20 seconds left, Eric secured a tap out to win the match, grinning as he stood to have his hand raised by the referee.
Eric led early in the finals but ended up losing a tight match to a boy from his same team. He took the loss better than I expected and smiled proudly on the award stand while receiving his second-place medal.
On the drive home, Eric said, “Dad, you know how you told me to warm up before my match to get my heartbeat up so I was ready to wrestle? That wasn’t a problem – I hardly warmed up, and my heart was ready to pound out of my chest!” I started laughing, thinking back to how nervous I was before wrestling when I was younger. Nothing else has matched that same feeling, nothing in sports, not public speaking. It is just you and the other guy going all out at each other.
My daughter Elizabeth is now in jiu-jitsu as well. I am still unsure what to think, as I never envisioned having a daughter in wrestling. But it is going well so far, and I like that she is learning self-defense.
Eric had me sign him up for his second jiu-jitsu tournament next month. Elizabeth wasn’t sure if she wanted to do it or not. Eric asked her if she was scared of losing or not doing well. When she said yes, Eric said, “If you’re not winning, you’re learning.”
I laughed and said, “Where did you get that from? It’s pretty good.”
Eric said, “From Jocko, from the Warrior Kid books.”
Thank you, God, for bringing this about in your time, in your way – always better than mine.
Links:
Way of the Warrior Kid – Jocko Willink and Jon Bozak
Warrior Kid Podcast – perfect to play in the car while running family errands
WARRIOR KID CODE
THE WARRIOR KID WAKES UP EARLY IN THE MORNING.
THE WARRIOR KID STUDIES TO LEARN AND GAIN KNOWLEDGE AND ASKS QUESTIONS IF THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND.
THE WARRIOR KID TRAINS HARD, EXERCISES, AND EATS RIGHT TO BE STRONG AND FAST AND HEALTHY.
THE WARRIOR KID TRAINS TO KNOW HOW TO FIGHT SO THEY CAN STAND UP TO BULLIES TO PROTECT THE WEAK.
THE WARRIOR KID TREATS PEOPLE WITH RESPECT, DOESN’T JUDGE THEM, AND HELPS OUT OTHER PEOPLE WHENEVER POSSIBLE.
THE WARRIOR KID KEEPS THINGS NEAT AND IS ALWAYS PREPARED AND READY FOR ACTION.
THE WARRIOR KID STAYS HUMBLE, CONTROLS THEIR EGO, AND STAYS CALM. WARRIOR KIDS DO NOT LOSE THEIR TEMPERS.
THE WARRIOR KID WORKS HARD, SAVES MONEY, IS FRUGAL AND DOESN’T WASTE THINGS, AND ALWAYS DOES THEIR BEST.
I AM THE WARRIOR KID.